My life has often been one of pain. I didn’t get the best starting place and I’ve made mistakes and some VeryBadThings have happened to me.
I’m also one of the luckiest people in the world.
I have friends. I have the kind of friends that let me call them at two in the morning, on a Tuesday, to cry at them and not accept their good advice, and then they still answer the phone when I call on Thursday. I haven’t done this in a long time, but I still could if I needed to.
I have the kinds of friends who love me through the worst times and kick my butt through the lazy times and cheer me on once I’m finally moving.
I have an unfairly large number of them. I can count at least five. Five people who would take me in no matter the circumstances. Five people who would take my call at three a.m.. Five people who love me even when I mess up. Five people who really think that I’m something special.
Three of these people actually saved my life. They were my friends when I was at my very worst. They’ve been my friends through points where the only reason I didn’t kill myself was that they were already stressed out and I knew they’d make time for my funeral. They were the people who argued me into therapy and kept hounding me to go until I got better.
They stayed my friends through months of silences. Through moves. Through lost phone numbers. Through an abusive relationship and the aftermath of leaving it. They stayed my friends even though we’re on far ends of the country. They’re my friends even though I continually and consistently fail to pick up the phone and call them to tell them how much they rock.
Some of the friends I have are newer. They’ve cheered me on and kept me fed and kept me sane through the misadventure, and joy, and terror, of becoming a parent. They’ve sat in my living room drinking endless cups of coffee. They’ve shown up even when they knew I would be bad company.
I am unbelievably blessed. I’ve been showered with love. So much love it makes me cry just to think about it.
So, thank you. Thank you, for being you. Thank you, for saving my life. Thank you, for listening. Thank you, for being patient. Thank you, for loving me.
You are the reason that I am. You are the reason that I can love. You are the reason I can trust. You are the reason that I get to kiss my daughter goodnight and read to her and the reason that I get to kiss my husband good morning. You made all the things in this incredible, wonderful, amazing life possible. Thank you.
Thank you for being my friends.