Hair: Wherein, I Become Ranty

Seriously. People.

Get a grip. I know she flipping looks like Shirley Temple.

Shirley Temple. Image courtesy

Fiona, in the grass last summer. This photo is was taken by my good friend, Krisheena,

I know she’s cute and super friendly. I know she has amazing hair. Even if I didn’t have eyes, I have working ears and people have told me. A lot of people. I swear at least five people commented on her hair at Winco’s today. Five.

Can’t you people find something better to focus on? For crying-out-loud, she was reading the aisle numbers, counting the veges as we put them into the bags, and did a lovely rendition of “Mary had a little duck” at full volume. She introduced each of you to her bunny. She even told one of you that bunny likes carrots.

She is amazing. She would be amazing even if she were bald! Jumping Jacks and Jam!

No. I don’t do it to her. (Who the F- would try to curl a two-year-olds hair???)  Yes, it is natural. No, I’m not going to be entering her into pageants.

Also, Little-Old-Lady, when you ask if I did that to her hair, and I answer that, no, it’s just genetics. Don’t contradict me and say that god curled her hair. I really doubt that god reached into my uterus with his magic curling iron and carefully teased her pretty little golden locks into place. Even if you believe in that, in this particular case accept that it involved genetics. No Magic Divine Hairdresser. Genetics!

People, kids are cute. They’re also people! If you keep telling my girl that she’s cute, if you keep obsessing over how cute she is, you’re going to make my job harder. It’s hard enough to keep a girl from becoming body obsessed in this stupid, freaking image obsessed world, so please don’t make this harder. She listens when you tell me that her hair is “so cute”!

It’s gotten pretty bad. Lately, she’s started going up to people and introducing herself with the phrase, “Hi! I Fiona. I have cute hair.” I’m trying to teach her to say how old she is, or that she knows her abc’s, or any other normal thing.

So, please, until I can explain the concept of modesty, could we please lay off about the hair? Please?

Okay. I’m done ranting now.


6 thoughts on “Hair: Wherein, I Become Ranty

  1. She is bright, gentle, athletic, graceful, intuitive, caring, empathic, enthusiastic, loving, special, precious, thoughtful, vivacaious, precocious, and a genious!

  2. She’s also stubborn, willful, curious, easily distracted by shiny things, and determined to be the center of the universe, but we love her for those things too.

  3. hahaha, my now 11 year old cousin got the same compliments from everybody. She has naturally curly hair and the Shirley Temple comparisons were constant–to the point she got sick of it and would make a face whenever she was brought up. Of course my aunt thinks my cousin invented electricity so she loves the attention!

    However so far she has been a pretty sweet kid so it doesn’t seem the constant attention got to her head–but then she isn’t a teenager yet!

  4. My dughter’s curls have straightened out now, but I used to get the same thing pretty often: “did you curl it?” And I thought the same thing! I can’t IMAGINE what would possess me to use use a curling iron on my 2 year old!!! Not only would that be super dangerous, but I would never dream of trying to change anything about her natural beauty.
    My dad tells my daughter all the time how she’s so pretty, and the way he says it makes it seem like it’s such an important thing. And I cringe. I know he’s just crazy about her. And I wonder if I’m just too hypersensitive. I make sure it’s counterbalanced with other acknowledgements of her attributes. I also make sure not just to praise what she IS, but what she’s DOING. Like, not just “you’re so smart.” but also “you worked so hard on that!” etc.
    Beautiful girl you’ve got there! 😛

    • Thanks!
      Evidently there was a period of time about 50-60 years ago where all the moms were TRYING to make their little girls have curls. There are a ton of women who remember having to sit for hours to get their hair curled. Mostly they are the ones who ask if I did it on purpose. Most of them seem relieved when I act like they’re crazy.

      I never know if I’m being too sensitive, but when people lean out of the window at drive-throughs, I begin to suspect that I’m not…
      I tend to give family a pass though, and she tends to distract them with other stuff pretty quick.

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