Time Out!

Have you ever had a day where nothing went wrong? Have you ever had a day where nothing went wrong and you still completely and totally could not cope?

I’ve had one of those today. Nothing went wrong. There was not one single thing I could point to about today and say, “There! That is the culprit! Blame that!” Nope. I’m out of luck.

I’m also out of patience. Whoever invented defiance? They can … do unspeakable things that if I described would want to make you scrub your eyes with bleach. Yeah. Oedipal things. Really, really horrible things. Don’t imagine it! What’s wrong with you?

I smacked Fiona’s hand today. Yeah. I feel about as good about that as you’d imagine, given my views on spanking, smacking and really any hitting of a child.

She slapped me in the face and without even thinking about it, I smacked her hand. There was no intention, just reflex.

Then we both got to sit in time out. Together. And say sorry. To each other.

I will admit that she seemed relatively unfazed by it. I smacked her hand and she looked me square in the eye and said very firmly, “No hitting, Mommy. We don’t hit!”

To which I said, “You’re right. I’m sorry. We both need to sit in time out!”

Weirdly, the day went a little better after that. I think I needed a time out. Maybe I should start taking them preemptively?

 

 

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4 thoughts on “Time Out!

  1. You did need a time out. But that’s ok. Adults need them too. And I think you handled that very well. yes, we have knee jerk reactions, but you appologized, and she got to see that adults make mistakes and have to accept punishments too, and have to appologize. I think Fiona learned a heck of a lot from the whole episode. Good job.

  2. I smacked my daughter once when she bit me. It’s an automatic reaction. I tell people never to smack their children but kids can make you do things you never thought you would do.
    I had another thought from your other post- I hope it’s not annoying but this advice thing is what I do 🙂
    Anyway, when she is having a tough day, you can try the Happiest Toddler on the Block thing where you get down on her level and match the intensity of her emotions, then state her feelings like, “You are so angry right now!” It tends to stop them because they are looking for you to “get” how they are feeling, and maybe that’s why she really was fine when you smacked her back- you showed her you were feeling the same feelings she was. Just a thought.

    • I like this one. I think you’re right. She needed me to understand her frustration and need for control and until I echoed it back (Badly), I wasn’t giving her signs that I understood.

      I think part of why we’re having trouble is that I’m a control freak and not that she’s getting that independent streak we’re butting heads. I need to be like water, change the course of the river, don’t try to run the boat.

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